Seeds and ships

Faith like a mustard seed (Mathew 17:20). I’ve read that verse so many times always just thinking that I understood it. But it wasn’t until recently that I actually did. As I know I’ve said in the past, I love music and it’s from a personal struggle mixed in with a For King and Country song that my understanding of this verse and how it applies  to me happened.  
                    
The struggle. 
      For as long as I can remember I’ve made it a point to live the Faith.  I’m not perfect, and I stumble as much as I stand, but my intention..my focus..was to always be trying to be the man that Christ wants.  I even end my letters reminding others to “live the Faith”. But for the past few months, I don’t know how to explain it except to say I was feeling like I was walking in molasses…spiritually. Although I was, and  still, praying ever day and reading the scripture daily, it wasn’t enough. Something was stopping or delaying me at times in physically acting out or living the Faith. I  couldn’t seem to stop allowing life, and all it’s chaos, to question my commitment to my own faith. And maybe it was all a battle that only was being fought in my head because anyone who knows me, associates me with my faith (which is something that I’ve always taken pride in). But my lack of action caused me to question the strength of my faith. Just to be clear, it wasn’t everyday that I was feeling this but even if it was  only for a moment it felt like the devil trying to get a foothold in me. 
The song

      A little over a year ago For King and Country released a new album. The album name and one of the songs is Burn the Ships. I’ve listened to the song so many times but it wasn’t until a few days ago that it truly hit me. Before I continue the quick back story on the song is that when the explorer Cortes arrived in Vera Cruz, Mexico he had his men “burn the ships”.  Basically making it an all or nothing situation. The point of the song is that we have to be the same way when it comes to Christ. 
 
     So about a week or so ago I was walking to Penn Station listening to Pandora when the song came on. And it was like one of the situations where you can listen to something a hundred times and it’s just words, but then one day you hear it. And just like that things start to seem clear. Like I said in the beginning of this letter, my faith is like a mustard seed.  Even when I’m at my weakest, it’s still unwavering, and as “small” as I may have thought it was at times, in my heart I know it’s strength is endless. At that moment I decided to “burn my ships” and not let my fears or self doubt dictate my belief. The feeling of peace that came over me when I decided to trust the depth of my faith was awesome. By putting myself “all in” I realized that my belief, no matter what size my brain made it seem, is so strong..so true that all things are possible and I can be  the man that Christ wants and I need to be. You see as long as you truly believe with all your heart, it doesn’t matter if your belief is the smallest of seeds or largest of plants it’s all the same and moving a mountain is child’s play. 

 Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”   -Mathew 17:20
Thanks for listening.  I pray we all remember to live the Faith.  God bless. 

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